New With Tags
Bra purchases of late have been an unmitigated disaster. Without fail, I have an expert talent for picking something lovely and comfortable that immediately upon purchase, becomes a prickly wreck. It gets better. When worn, they make audible creaking sounds. Were I to lean over the shoulder of a coworker, one would think I was part android. “Number Five is alive!”
I haven’t been pinching my pennies. These lacy contraptions hail from some of San Francisco’s finest stores. Unless I’ve missed the memo, you’re undergarments shouldn’t groan like the Golden Gate Bridge twisting and turning in some disaster flick.
The lone gunman in my lingerie drawer is Wacoal #65108 or “Hidden Charms.” I’ve been reduced to wearing it day after day for comfort and silence. Given that the internets are so readily available in my life and I’ve been known to have a bright idea or two, one would think that I would have taken the time to look at the ratty tag and replicate that which has proven to be worthy with a little online consumerism. The thought only crossed my mind last night while Derek was bathing himself in the glory of the last season of Battlestar Gallactica.
And immediately hit a brick wall. Hidden Charms has been discontinued (of course). Dipping my toe into eBay, I found one store (complete with Bible verses) that has two in my size: a racy red and something that’s described as “off white.” Both are “NWT.” New with tags. What is that? Is it like “mint” or “new in box”? Most of my eBay shopping revolves around small consumer electronics that take photos.
So, questions I have: can you wear a bra without taking the tags off? I guess “new” is more assuring than “like new” or “as good as new.” Should I just get over it? The alternative is truly horrifying — a trip downtown. I’m at the crossroads, people.
Before
